This has been one of the most looked-at posts on the site. It is sensationalistic, but it also teaches some important ideas. It is a good lead-in to tomorrow’s reprise of “Tarot and Relationships”. I’ve been getting a lot of relationship questions lately, which is great, but there are some basics that worth re-visiting in general every now and then, just to remind ourselves what Tarot is really all about and how all this works. Can’t wait? The basics are on the “About Relationship Readings” page that is always available at the top of the page under the “about” tab. Please feel free to explore the information pages tucked away under those tabs at the top. I hope you find some nice tidbits there.
Q: I met a man who seemed to be all anyone could want…a little older, financially stable, professional, interested in me. But he could be pushy, too, and he pushed me to go on a vacation together, his treat. Turns out he is a horrible gambler. The whole trip was a disaster…shocking. I keep attracting men like this, and after this experience I wonder if I will ever have a good relationship. I had a career reading with you last year, and liked the way you look at things. Can you give any insight to the romance side of things?
A: I think you are right…this experience was shocking, but it got your attention. It helped you see a pattern, and to realize you want something different. As traumatizing as it was in the short term…in the big picture this may actually be a valuable experience. There are two tarot cards that are exquisitely applicable to your situation: The Lovers and The Magician. They are both major arcana cards…which speaks to the power and importance of the things your are thinking about. The Lovers symbolizes desire, and The Magician represents transformation and manifestation. Your experience with this man, and the way it felt inevitable, shows it is an important and powerful lesson: it shows you that what is deep down matters more than the initial outward appearance…and that the deep down important stuff is what matters to you. Now you know. This will give you a wonderful contrast…the shadow to show you what you want to bring to light. You know, now, what you DON’T want to repeat…the next step is to define in your mind, very clearly, what you DO want in a relationship…what you do want in your relationships an in your life. The feeling I got reading the first part of your story is that your connection with this man grew out of expectations…your hope for a relationship and what other people define as a good prospect…stable, professional etc etc. That doesn’t, as we see here, necessarily bring the intangible, subtle good things, like respect, caring, compassion, empathy….all those things that are REALLY important. When I was younger, I saw a psychic, also wondering if I would ever be with anyone. She gave me an exercise…I may have mentioned this last time…that proved to be pure gold. Even if you’ve done this before…try again, start the exercise over, using your new insights and perspectives gained from the trip to vegas… Make a list of all the things you want in a partner. What kind of relationship do you want? Marriage? Companionship? List every detail, literally, on paper. List physical things, interests, personality traits…anything, everything. Don’t put negatives…don’t say “not a gambler” put “enjoys ___________” That part is very important…the energy of the “not” might actually draw the undesirable trait to you rather than block it. Always list ONLY the things you WANT in a positive way. Then release the list. Put it away, or, if you are inclined to such things, burn it in a respectful ritual of some sort. Whenever you feel the impulse, send a thought to the universe. Pray it…however it feels most powerful to you….not the whole list, just the feeling of desire for “the best of the list” or “husband for the highest and best”…something like that. Send the cry from your heart to the heart of outer space…then let go and trust the universe to guide you to the right path. There are no time limits. There may be more things to learn along the way…but if you ask for the path to the best, you will find that journey, no matter how long it takes to get to the destination.