Card of the Month: The Lovers. Really.


Have you ever just looked at something first thing in the morning, not quite comprehending for a few tics? It was like that when I turned over today’s card. It is too cliche to be real. February and the Lovers card. Seriously? No. Just no. Waaaaayyy to Hallmark to be believed.

Maybe that is the point of it. Maybe someone out there need to be lifted out of all the icky sweet gooey eyed engagement ring commercials, the way that the Lovers card is elevated, and is more than its hand holding, is-he, is-she,  date-for-the-prom reputation.

In the “Arcana in Balance” post about the Lovers, we talked about the balance between desire and detachment. If you put the card in the additional context of the whole Valentines thing…I see another balance emerging: Superficial vs substantial.

Sure the overly commercialized cards and flowers event is fun for some…although at my age it is more about the cheap chocolate than anything else, especially when the 15th rolls around.

It’s not a big deal…superficial and fun has its place. Especially when peanut and caramel bars go on sale. But it is a little point of self-awareness that is well worth knowing. Much as we might like to stuff ourselves with Snickers, you need a little broccoli every now and again too.

Yes, of course, the card has to do with relationships. Not everything is the end of the world forever soulmate relationship…and sometimes things ask to be taken seriously. That is why the concept of “Desire” is a key one for this card. Desire can be surface…I desire another cup of coffee right now. Then there is the deeper, life goal variety…I desire to earn a living with my writing.

The Lovers card doesn’t judge your desires. It doesn’t say this relationship or that that thing we want is good or bad. And of course, it doesn’t predict a hot romance or lifelong soulmate is on the horizon. Instead it asks us to know the difference. Is this romance you are in just that? Do you WANT to be in a lifelong mated relationship…or is just socializing ok? Or do you need some time off to detach from romantic relationships and build a deeper relationship with yourself and your own soul? Does that long term relationship need some TLC and attention? Are we hovering and dependent and need to ease up a little bit? Are we being shallow and superficial and need to build some real love and compassion?

There is more to the Lovers card than just red hearts and roses.

No, I don’t know if you and your ex will get back together.

No, I don’t know when you’ll get married.

All I know is that I’m going for that second cup of coffee now. Maybe I’ll make it a mocha.



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