My Side of the Table: Love and Romance


This informal, unscheduled series of posts will look at Tarot readings and cards from the reader’s point of view rather than a “card meaning” point of view. This is how it looks from my side of the table. I call the person getting the reading a “learner”  instead of a “sitter” because, lets face it, learning is what Tarot is all about. We both learn from this process, I just have a little more practice reading the intuitive images triggered by the cards and putting them into words. It is like an older student reading a text book chapter to a young one. To me, reading Tarot is isn’t like Moses on a mountain spouting some sacred truth. To me, Tarot is like a Kung Fu master pointing at the moon which was there all along for both of them to see.


My husband and my daughter are my everything, so I get it, I really do.

Love, romance, dating, marriage, partners; Prom dates to soulmates relationships are arguably the most important part of the human experience. Bad relationships between governments can get us all killed. A soulmate or child makes life worth the living of it. Our greatest philosophers have wrangled with the ideas of love and relationships. Sonnets and songs are written, movies are filmed, paintings are made & Tarot cards are drawn, all in the name of Love.

Readings about relationships are emotionally charged experiences. The learner is trusting us with something enormous They innocently hang all of their hopes and dreams about that much-wanted relationship on our reading. Nothing will blow a reading to bits quicker. Intuition suffers under the weight of expectations, yet we all bring the most hopes and greatest expectations to the readings that mean the most to us. Brutal honesty is the only solution. It is a act of tough love to say “no” in a romance or relationship question, but it is necessary for Tarot to be the loving guidance it was intended to be.

Tarot can’t read another person’s mind. We can’t honesty answer those oh-so-common questions; “Will they come back?” “Are they interested?” “Should I talk to them?” “Are they cheating?”

What follows are harsh words for an innocent question. People only get romance readings in the first place because those questions are so deeply important to them. Most people bring these kinds of question with the best of intentions, but the answer is “no” for some very harsh reasons.

We can’t read other people’s minds or predict the future…

But what if….

Let’s pretend for a minute that it is possible. What if it were possible to turn over a card and know exactly what some third person was thinking, feeling, & planning to do? If I COULD do that – WOULD I do that?

No. Never.

Entering a mind and heart without invitation is as ethically offensive to me as entering into physical contact uninvited. It is a shocking way to think of it, but mind-reading is  mind-rape. Even if the person being ‘read’ never knows what happened, we still know what we did. When a learner  gets a reading, they are giving permission for their energy to be read. The person they are asking ABOUT doesn’t get that opportunity. If they are read, it is without their knowledge or consent.

I ask you, as I ask my romance reading clients – would you want someone to do that to you? Would you want a stranger looking in your mind, in your deepest heart, seeing your feelings, knowing your choices, your hopes, your dreams? Worst than that, would you want that stranger sharing what they saw (whether they understood it or not) with someone else…who might also be a stranger to you?

If a client asked us to take a naked snapshot of their love interest, we wouldn’t do that. Why, then, would we agree to take an intuitive snapshot of their naked heart?

Luckily, it is a crime that can never be committed.  Whether it is actually possible to read minds or not is irrelevant. Whether the person is aware of the incursion or not is irrelevant. The point is that lines are crossed in that kind of Tarot reading, and the person who is doing the reading – and the crossing – knows it. Aren’t we serving a greater purpose by teaching a sense of boundaries and respect rather than taking the easy way out and just saying what our intuition says about if the learner’s love interest is interested in return?

I know full well the person asking for a romance reading just wants to find love and acceptance – not commit an atrocity. I know that many people just aren’t mature enough for the real answer yet. The importance of saying “no” doesn’t’ rest with the innocent question. The weight of honesty and respect lies with the person doing the reading, with me. My job is just to plant seeds of respect. It isn’t up to me whether those seeds grow or not – that is the learner’s responsibility. They might get mad if I don’t tell them what they want to hear, but at least I can walk away knowing I did my best for the two of them.

This is why I lecture on and on about being asked to read minds or make predictions. And that’s why I won’t do it.

Welcome to My Side of the Table.