Dreams, Wishes, and Life After Death

Q: Can you connect with someone who has died with a Tarot reading? ____ passed away suddenly four months ago. About a month ago, I started having dreams about talking with him. He said some things that didn’t make a lot of sense. I asked his mom about some of the things he told me, and they were all true! It was amazing and scary all at the same time. In one of the dreams he told me that I wouldn’t get the car I wanted. There was a problem with the loan paperwork, and about a week after the dream I found out everything was majorly delayed. In a dream after that, he said he’d faked his death and was still alive but in another city. The dreams are so real. I can hear and talk and move, when I can’t do it in other dreams. But it’s been over a week since I’ve had a dream of him. Did I do something wrong?  Can visitation dreams tell the future better than other dreams? Do you think it’s really ____ or am I just wishful thinking?

A: Other people might have a different view, but personally, I believe that visitation dreams are valid.

As I understand it (and as I’ve experienced it),”visitation” dreams are vivid, clear and multi-sensory like that. In my experience, that’s how you tell a visit dream apart from ordinary dreams. Remembering the dream has the quality of remembering an actual experience more than that distant, fuzzy quality of remembering a dream. Even the memory of a visitation dream is  somehow stronger than the memory of other dreams. After having the factual details of the dreams confirmed like that, it is hard to deny it was a real experience or really him. Especially if it was real-world information you couldn’t have known in advance. You could argue it was things he’d told you and you had forgotten, and the dream was that information coming back up to conscious memory, but I imagine even a hard core skeptic would have to stop and think for a moment. Not that skeptics matter in this. We’re not proselytizing a religion here…you don’t have to prove anything to anyone. The dream was a real and profound experience for you, no matter if ____ was there or not. It was a real experience for you no matter how other people might understand it. If you think it was him…it was him.  Your belief is yours…things like this can’t be proven one way or the other, so you have to go with what you know, deep down,  to be true. 

That kind of connection with deceased loved ones comes and goea at the spirit’s pleasure, not ours. Even if I did a reading, there is no way to know if _____ would come through or not. Savor the experience, take it in, cherish it, but don’t try to force it. Never doubt they can hear us and love us, even if we aren’t dreaming with them. Don’t worry if the dreams stop. You didn’t do anything wrong, and nothing is wrong on their side. I like to think of it like a noisy party. Just because you can’t hear someone speak to you from across the room over the louder, closer voices doesn’t meant they have left the party or that they don’t care about you or that they won’t come close to you ever again. They may move back to your side of the party room, or they may not, but eventually we will move to their side. Time doesn’t apply. They are working from the biggest of big pictures. They can see and hear the whole party at one time. Our schedules, our sense of time, our expectations don’t necessarily apply.

True prophetic dreams are rare, but possible. I would guess they are easier in combination with a visitation dream, though I don’t know for sure. I have never heard or read anything specifically about that combination. I’m not big on predicting the future….even from spirit’s special vantage point. You might, because of the dream, take an action that changes everything away from the prediction…make sense? It’s like one of my favorite scenes in the movie “The Matrix” where the Oracle tells Neo “what will really bake your noodle later is would you have broken it [a vase] if I hadn’t said anything.” I have to hand it to you for taking on these kinds of ideas at a time when your emotions are so raw. It really is “bake your noodle” kind of stuff. So be kind to yourself. If it gets overwhelming, take a break and think about it later when you are grieving less. Nothing shuts down communication with spirit as faster than intense mourning and high expectations.  I always say “spirit whispers”. No wonder one of the most vivid ways they communicate with us happens when we are out cold asleep. All we can do is try to quiet our side of the party room and listen. The times when they get through the noise and gift us with dreams and synchronicities are precious. When they are farther away in the room, when we don’t sense them or hear from them, the best we can do is try to listen.

I’ve also heard of wish dreams…that is probably the faked death component. It is expressing the wish that he is actually still alive, however implausible the circumstances. Have you ever seen the TV show “Medium”? If you have, you might not remember directly but your subconscious might be grabbing on to one of the episodes. The series finale was just exactly that. The main character dreamed her husband wasn’t dead after all, but stranded in another country with amnesia. If you’ve never watched that show, then you are tapping into something common to human nature that the episode writer tapped into as well. More likely, in my opinion, it’s symbolic. He IS still alive, just not in the physical world. I wonder if that was his symbolic way of telling you that life-after-death exists and to trust the dream experiences?

If you are feeling up for it, I suggest a little reading

  • “How to Meet and Work With Spirit Guides” by Ted Andrews
  • “Book of Dreams” by Sylvia Browne
  • “One Last Time” by John Edward
  • “Hello from Heaven” by Bill and Judy Guggenheim

If memory serves, they are all on amazon.com

I’m so sorry to hear about your loss.

With all condolences…



image “Meditation – Into the Mystic” by Ian Burt via flickr.com under attribution share alike creative commons license