Zombie Cat’s Crazy Crap Predictions: Next TV Star


Full Disclosure: I love to cook. I love trying new recipes, tweeking recipes, creating recipes…you know, pretty much being a crazed mad scientist in the kitchen. I’m also a huge, giant fan of FOODNETWORK, KELLI’S KITCHEN, and YUMGOGGLE.COM. Please be aware the following is totally biased with a heavy dose of fangirling.

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Q: Who will the next celebrity cook be with their own show on The Food Network?

A: Kelli! Big Bongusta hello to you and everyone at YUMGOGGLE! Are you thinking what I think you’re thinking?

My first impulse was YOU!

I mean, seriously. I know less than nothing about media and pitching a show to a major national network, but you might be on to something. I’m thinking from the perspective of a food show junkie…

Contest shows they have covered. How-to they have covered in their online presence. They have place and personality kind of done (by the way, when you are all chummy with Alton Brown in this future time line, I full on expect an introduction!) They’ve done rural big time with Paula Dean, Tricia Wazzername, and that nice Ranch Lady…they’ve touched lightly on urban, and the affluent northeast with the Contessa. But what about the great swaths of suburbia? That target audience would lend itself well to the retro kitchen aesthetic and tell me one half-serious home cook who hasn’t imagined themselves able to do a cooking show?

Ta-DAH…every-cook participation show in the vein of YUMGOGGLE with a garnish of quirk and camp. You’d be a hit! Can you imagine a TV version of yumgoggle where audience submitted dishes are vetted, curated, buffed up and presented on – camera with a shout-out to the person who submitted it. The mind boggles.

With you and outragous success in mind, I did a three card yes/no for you bringing something on that level to be for Yumgoggle…Yumgoggle TV comes to mind…

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Ok, so no aces…BUT keep in mind that the no-aces kind of ‘no’ is less certain then the one-ace kind of ‘no’. It works, to may way of thinking, like the yin-yang symbol. That’s what the dots in each side symbolize…within each lies the seed of its opposite. And that’s why the dot is in the bigger side of the color’s shape…anything in its extreme can become its opposite. In other words, this soft no could easily tip into a definite yes with the right kind of effort and well placed nudging.

On the serious side, these cards talk about serenity in your work path, and striking a good balance between success and the price of success….but with heavy emphasis on SUCCESS. The first card, the 8 of wands is movement, rapid progress…a “decision at your disposal” comes to mind. It’s there for you if you choose to want it is the feeling. the four of swords (among many meanings) classically has to do with rest, meditation, “mental restoration” as “Galaxy Tarot” puts it captures the feeling here. Putting together a big pitch for TV or just a push for success in an existing venture is a LOT of effort and a big learning curve sometimes, so mental rest in order to bring your best mental focus to where it is needed…well, that’s a good thing for all of us to remember.

The nine of cups is wish fulfillment, a project coming to a good conclusion. World is your Oysters Rockefeller seems to me, Foodnetwork or otherwise.

I repeat, when you are a famous TV star and all chummy with Alton Brown, I expect an introduction 😀

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Zombie Cat is a character inspired by a Menage A Tarot episode and Schrodinger’s famous thought experiment. The predictions have a 50% chance of being absolutly wrong, 75% chance of mild to moderate sarcasm, and 99% chance of light entertainment. Have a question for Zombie Cat? Leave it in the comments below! The answer will be a public blog post so nothing too personal or steamy, OK?

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