Does this mean we’re over?

Q: I did a three card past-present-future reading about my boyfriend. The Lovers was in the past position. Does that mean we’re over?

A: I can understand where that would get your attention and worry you a bit.

But without knowing any other details, let’s put all of this into perspective and try to get a little context.

First of all, why are you reading about the relationship at all? It’s a little like that old adage “if you have to ask the price you can’t afford it”. People who are happy and confident in their relationships typically aren’t doing Tarot readings about them. Are you worried the card means the relationship is over because it was in trouble to start with? Is it validating something you want? Is it validating what you deep-down know but just aren’t quite ready to admit consciously? I really think the best readings mostly just serve to confirm what we already deep-down know. If that is the case, then yes, that is exactly what that card could mean…but only if you are doing the reading for yourself, and only if you feel it is a validation like that.

From my side of the table, doing readings for other people, I’d handle it very differently. Tarot doesn’t read minds or tell what other people’s feelings are…so I can’t speak to that kind of deep down validation. Here’s how I would read the Lover’s in past position:

There are two elements to consider. One is the card position, the other is the card itself.

Because of all the cause & effect, power of choice, the problem with prediction stuff (see “100% accurate predictions and a big cube of jello” for example) I modify the past-present-future layout a little. I think it is more important to focus on now, and what we can do to find a better future rather they trying to predict a pre-set fate. The “past” position doesn’t predict the end of something. To my way of thinking it has to do with the actual, literal past. That position asks us to remember lessons and skills from the past that can help us now. What have you learned about life, love, relationships, and yourself that can help you deal with your current relationship? Are there any old thought habits or any old un-learned lessons that are repeating? Are the things that worry you now rooted in this current situation, or are you making assumptions about this relationship or re-awkening old anxieties all based on past experiences?

The other thing to consider is the card itself. Everyone likes the Lovers card to be all romantic. I see it as a bit more. I don’t know why the image of fire is coming through here, but I want to say the Lovers card is about “flaming desire”… lust for anything, not just the visceral physical lusting side of a romantic relationship. Deep, mature, long-lasting, life-mate kind of love is more often associated with the 2 of cups. Could it be that your relationship is moving away from that new-love, flash in the pan lust and going toward something more long-lasting? Could it be the card is suggesting that you to decide if you want superficial desire or deep love? If those are the issues around the card, then Lovers in the past position is pretty much the opposite of the relationship being over.

Which begs the question, how do you know which is which? That is where raw intuition comes into the mix. In any reading, the human heart and spirit is the real key. The Tarot cards are just the cell phone that helps us have a conversation with (intuition/our higher selves/universal energies/spirit guides/etc.). Whether you look at the cards directly, or have a professional ‘translate’ a little for you…in the end, it is your heart that recognizes the truth of it.



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