Q&A: Saving a Marriage – what will my future be?

Q: What will my future be?

My husband and I are from India, but our daughter was born here. Currently, I am finding very difficult to communicate with my husband. He says I am idiot and I don’t understand, so no point talking to me. And also his anger is increasing day by day. Sometime in anger he throws stuff. He broke door twice. He thinks our level of understanding does not match and we need to take divorce. But I am little scared of divorce and thinking to fix our marriage. But don’t know what to do. I have one male friend in Seattle, WA – He used to like me during school He is also married and has one daughter, His wife has mental problem and he is also thinking of divorce. Sometime he talks to me to visit him but for me my marriage is priority. What is good for me and my daughter? What shall I do? Can I save our marriage? Can my husband anger go away?

A: Thank you for allowing me to share your reading like this. I hope it might help other people too.
Before we get to the cards, we have to be very, very clear about a few points
  1. This is important. Your situation is a real-world problem with major life consequences. This isn’t something for internet advice. You must never make major life decisions based on “psychic” readings. Trust your feelings, but deal with things realistically.
  2. Consult a professional. I’m not a counselor. Questions of this magnitude need a real-world professional not folk artist. Stay safe…a Tarot reading can’t do that for you. Get whatever professional real-world help you need to keep yourself and your daughter safe. Contact a women’s shelter, or the authorities for help if you need it.
  3. As I always, always tell everyone: Tarot can NOT predict the future. How this goes depends on the decisions and actions you and your husband take. You can not control him, magically know how he feels, what he will do or how the future will unfold…but you CAN control how you cope, how you respond, and the things you do. If you need it…get professional help with doing that. That is what social services, therapists and marriage counselors are trained to do. You don’t use a fork to saw a log…and you don’t use Tarot readings to solve major problems that may need professional hands.
  4. All I have to offer you is a few ideas about how to cope…but my intuition is that this is bigger than a reading can help by a long way and would strongly encourage you to get additional support. You and your daughter are worth it!

General Pattern

If you want detailed background about Tarot and my style of readings, click here to get and read the “Hello” e-book. It’s free. Two minor arcana followed by a major arcana gives the feeling things are building. There are more challenges to come, but that does not mean you can not cope with them. This brings to mind the point of getting more substantial help than an intuitive reading can give. You have work to do, but with help you can work through it and make things better in the end. Getting help isn’t a failure…it is an action. It is you doing what you need to do to make things better.


Lessons From The Past

This is a validation kind of message. It reflects the torn, conflicted feelings you understandably have. This card offers advice and does what little a Tarot can do in this situation. By acknowledging the confused, conflicted, frightened feelings that you have, it points out that focus is needed. Simplify. Cut to the chase. Get to the bottom line. You said yourself the marriage is your priority. Then focus on that. Talk to a professional to help decide if there is realistically anything you can do at this point, and to help you cope with the parts that are beyond your control. Rather than focus at all on outside relationships, focus on the problem and realities at hand. It might be worth saying that new relationships are doomed until you heal from whatever happens with the marriage anyway. One thing at a time, most important first. Set the lesser things aside until later. Be as clear and deliberate and focused as you can be.


Understanding Now

This card has to do with dealing with demons. Right now my sense is emotion is the monkey on your back. Understandably so. There is a strong element of FACE YOUR FEARS now. If you admit, deal with and plan for the thing that frightens you the most, the fear can fade away. What is your biggest fear? A divorce? Then plan what you will do if he files for divorce…what help you will need and how to get it. Do you fear being alone? Then plan what to do and what help you will need if you end up being on your own for a time (at least until you are healed and well enough to take on any new relationships in the future). Face your fears…admit them, plan for them, take them head-on and fix them…and then your fears are as harmless as a fish in a cup. Like President Roosevelt said “We have nothing to fear but fear itself”


Moving Forward

Justice symbolizes wisdom. The image on the card is a very powerful woman. My sense is that this is very much a validation card. The message is clear and simple…not a lot of depth or complexity here. Very simply if you act wisely and with courage (see how she holds a sword?)…focus, plan, face your fears, make contingency plans for the worst outcome if needed, get the help you need, seek the wisdom of professionals who specialize in your particular problem….all of those wise choices…then in the long run you can find your place of power (like her throne) and again find balance (scales). This feels like reassurance that with help and focus and effort, things can be ok again, even after a very difficult time like this.

Summary / Cold Reading

Here I give any impressions that might have to do with your question or cards…or not. At this point I get the sense there is more to you spiritually than Tarot. I’m not familiar with Indian culture, so I wonder what do women in your situation do there? I sense a need for familiarity and comfort. Is there a family member that could offer advice? Or someone that knows the place where you grew up and who would understand what you like/dislike about how marriage problems are handled in that context? I ‘hear’ “get the best of both worlds”. Use counseling and other contemporary resources at hand to help you and your daughter here and now…but also use traditional spirituality and family comforts to help support your soul and spirit as you do. Make sense?

Do you like incense? I do, and use it often…but I can’t quite identify the fragrance that intuitively comes to mind….Nag Champa? Dragonsblood?  (I’m a big vanilla & sandalwood fan myself). But wafting the smoke and fragrance (carefully!) around a room or area where there has been an argument can help clear any lingering negative feelings or energies. Most people use sage for that kind of “smudging” but for you my hunch is that the incense would be more comforting to you.

And there the energy steps back. I hope this helps! Best Wishes to you.


This is an actual e-mail Tarot reading that S. generously donated to allow her cards to possibly help others. 

What I’ve typed here is EXACTLY what I would have said to her if we worked face to face or over the phone. The intuition comes to me the same way no matter what format the reading uses. It doesn’t matter if I say or type the words. The ideas are all the same either way.

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