Q: I have always been unlucky in love. Could you give some advice how to find long lasting love?
A: I think a pathway reading would be the most help for this question. It looks at the path you are on now, to maybe help understand why you feel so unlucky in love, and give ideas to turn things in a better direction.
Before we start the cards, I’d like to share a few basic thoughts I give everyone who has a question like this. It is more common than you think…you are not alone in this kind of feeling at all!
The first step in finding long-lasting love is to develop that kind of relationship with yourself and your life as it is. There is a spiritual law sometimes called “the law of similars” Basically that means “like attracts like” or “birds of a feather flock together”. The best way to attract the perfectly-right person for you into your life is to be your happiest, most content, most genuine self. Don’t try to be something you are not. Do the things you most love in life, and then you are more likely to find someone who loves those things…and possibly you…too.
I don’t know how things are there in ********* but here in the U.S. I often hear people say they go to bars (pubs) to meet people, but they are tired of “the bar scene” or that they never really enjoyed going to bars in the first place. That is their first mistake. A bar is a good way to meet an alcoholic, or someone else who is desperate and feeling unloved, but not the best place to find a life mate. For example I gave this exact advice to a lady who had a question almost exactly like yours. She is passionate about both skiing and caring for animals, so she spent the time she used to spend going to bars and instead used that time to volunteer at an animal shelter and explore some new places to ski. Now she is married to a good man who likes the same things. Now they still volunteer at the animal shelter in the summer and ski like crazy in the winter.
So learn to know the things you love in life. Spend time with those things instead of putting your time and energy into FINDING your life-mate. Instead put your time and energy into the the things you love about life already. Then you will ATTRACT your life-mate plus live a better, happier life on your own in the meantime. Make sense?
That being said, your cards today are:
Lessons from the Past: The Wheel of Fortune
Understanding NOW: the King of Wands
Moving Forward: Temperance
This makes a lot of sense in the context of the general advice we talked about earlier. I have to stand by that basic foundation…it has worked for my Tarot clients, it has been validated by other “soulmate” and romance experts, and it worked for me.
The Wheel of Fortune is where is gets more customized for you. The Wheel card is all about change. It reminds me of something my martial arts master always taught us…”if you keep doing what you are doing then you will keep getting what you are getting”…meaning if you are satisfied with the way things are, then keep up the good work. If you are unhappy, then something has to change…and the change has to come from with you, not the outside world.
In your case, think of the choices you have made so far. It isn’t “luck”. You don’t have bad “luck” in romance. You might have made mistakes, bad choices, or mis-judged other people who have hurt you, but it isn’t “luck”, so it is within your power to change things…but it will take care and attention on your part. To change your romance path you need to be willing to be alone for a time…willing to invest in yourself and invest in finding happiness alone. To change your path you need to be aware of the bad choices you may have made in the past and take care to do things differently from now on. Most importantly, give careful thought to the kind of person you have been with and have been attracted to. Don’t “settle”. Literally make a list describing your perfect person, the kind of person you would want to spend the rest of your life with. Focus on personality and character, their likes and dislikes and style of living more than physical traits. The put the list aside and live your life to its best. That will help you understand the kind of person you would want in your life, and put out a different energy, so you can attract a different person than before…change your outlook, change your choices, change your “vibe” and you will change the thing you have called “luck”
The King of Wands has to do with that process of takeing charge of your life and your love instead of chalking it up to “luck”. Don’t make yourself into a victim of circumstance. Own up to your part in this so you can change your way of doing things. Go to different places, do different things. Do things to be a better person. Start there. Wands have to do with your inner world (philosophy, spirituality, point of view). Kings have to do with leadership. Set aside love and romance for a time and focus just on you: find how to live happy on your own, find how to be the best you that you can be. That is the first step on your path to lasting love with another.
Temperance symbolizes balance. I think this card has both a reassurance energy and advice energy both together. It feels like a reassurance of a new…but good. problem to come. It reassures you that love will come, but also advises you to keep love and romance in balance with the rest of your life. Don’t loose yourself in love, or the quest to find it…Lasting romance is never made by two broken, dysfunctional people trying to “complete” the other. True love is made by two healthy, whole, happy people joining together to make something greater than either alone…but alone has to be healthy and workable first. Make sense?
And there the energy steps back. That is plenty to think about right there.
I wish you all the best in finding a happy life and finding your loving life-mate.